I am going mad, u are the cause

I love love love you!

2007-10-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

to be continued....

CUPID!

2007-09-06T08:02:00.001-07:00

While not a real person, Cupid was the God of Love to ancient Romans, and many Italians believed in his powers. Even in the modern world, references to Cupid and his bow and arrows of love are found everywhere on Valentine’s Day.

Cupid was not initially the cherubic, happy little angel that we think of today. In his original incarnation, he was a very mischievous, sometimes dark god of love and desire who enjoyed matching 'odd couples' and seeing how they worked out.

Cupid eventually fell under his own spell of odd matches. He fell in love with Psyche, a mortal. In the Greek language, Psyche means "butterfly" and also means "soul". In many ways, what Psyche goes through is symbolic of the path of each woman’s soul in life.

Cupid had actually been sent by his mother, Venus, to punish Psyche for her beauty. Instead, he was captivated by her. He arranged to have her brought to his mountain home to live with him, but he hid his identity from her, only visiting her at night. Their time together was so tender and full of gentle talk that Psyche fell in love with Cupid, without ever seeing him.

Psyche’s jealous sisters were angered by her wealth and love, and convinced Psyche that her lover must be a monster to so hide himself. The sisters persuaded her to sneak up on him after he left her one evening, armed with a knife. He awoke and saw her there, and said sadly, "I inflict no other punishment on you than to leave you forever. Love cannot dwell with suspicion."

Psyche realized how foolish she’d been, and decided the only way to be with Cupid again was to go talk to Venus and ask for her blessing. Venus was delighted at having Psyche kneeling down before her, and set forth many tasks for Psyche to perform to prove her worthiness. Each task was more than Psyche thought she could manage, but in each case a God stepped in to assist her. Finally Psyche and Cupid were allowed to be married. They were very happy together, and had a child, named Pleasure.

Bring cupid into your life by drawing hearts with arrows in them on the steamy morning bathroom mirrors, or by signing your letters and notes with the symbol!

Looking Up.

2007-09-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

As i look up into the sky
this blue piece of vastness is what that i see
white fluffs of clouds just hang there aimlessly.
asking themselves
what are we here for?
they have this reason so exsits
without them
there is no us.
and there will be no sky
neither will anything exsist.
then by them.
there will not be this blog.
neither will there even be anyone creating internet.
by then.
wat will be exsisting.
nothing.

Just by looking up.
spot
Life itself.

I am in a Moodless Mood

2007-08-01T06:43:00.001-07:00

I am now in my moodless mood
after sleeping through sleepless nights
i feel myself living lifelessly
i thinking about not thinking
i love about loveless
i hate about hating

i see sightless
i hear silence
i taste tasteless
i feel nothing...

i feel myself being filled with emptiness

i feel dry as the rain falls on me
i feel wet as the sun burns me
i feel hot as the coldness engulfs me
i feel cold as the heat boils within me

i am officially entering my moodless mood...

Ha.. airhole teacher...

2007-07-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

sad... sad...
that teacher force me to go that tuition which is like chinese and is a total waste of time...
haiz...
i wana stay home to fnish my hwk but...
she is like keep pestering me...
do not wan to quarrel with her...
avoiding it...
so i have to swallow all this...
*gulp*
*choke*
pui!
can't...
just can't swallow such stuff...

Sad...

2007-07-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Lol...
u may think i am really crazy...
but i am sad over....
something i lost...
hahaha...
it would sound damn stupid...
my mole came off with my pimple...
sad...
hahaha...
dunknow y
i am like really sad about it...
i think i am mad...
hahaha!
mole! mole!

I found you at last...

2007-07-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

You know...
when you were young,
you had so much energy.
thats because there is a strong motivation pushing you
but as someone grows old
one would slowly concentrate and focus too much on what they are doing
and they believe that motivations are for wimps
but these motivations are the ones that push you the extra mile

these motivations are found in your past childhood...
when its time it would reveal its identity...

i found mine which i think it is...
i am a engine running on happiness
laughter seems to be able to push me forward...
when i was young i would force my brother to tell me jokes
and i would laugh all the time,
til my mum is disturbed...

as i grew older i lost all this laughter
my life immediately plunged into cold darkness...
but today i found the laughter again...

feel so light...
HAHAHA...

SMILE!!!

Whats Happening?

2007-07-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

Everything around me seems bland, dull and boring
All the colours in life seems to slip away
Things start to turn black and white
Colours melt into tears and trickled down to the floor
My life seems to have bonded with the colours and melt aways with them
Everything starts to spin around like a merry goround
Faster and faster...
The speed reaches a point where i would be flunk out of this world
where i am thrown at the speed of light into the universe
where i would be lost in space
the darkness that engulfs me
i can feel the black mass start to seep into my ear, mouth and nose...
starting to corrode my mind...
i can feel myself losing it already
i threw myself around
trying to grab something trying to hold onto something
but there was nothing for me
everything was not there for me at the most critical time
i feel this strong thuge at my leg
i was pulled hard
i am going deeper into the darkness
i do not know wats happening
my eyes are blind even with sight
my ears are deaf even with hearing
my brain is dead even with knowledge
my hands are numb even with feeling

because i have already lost my heart
i lost my heart to those countless of painful strucks people implanted
the last feeling from it is a huge wrench
then i lost it

the time when i need someone so badly
the time when i fall into the endless pit
the time when i trip down a cliff
the time when i am going to break down

no one stood there for me

so soon
everything gets more dull
and lose its life

everything around me lost its interest

colours of life is black and white

i need someone...
save me...

How can i stand this?

2007-07-04T05:44:00.001-07:00

I have been living with 3 total strangers throughout my life.
How can i stay in this house?
How can i even not realise i do not know them only NOW?
Its like i been living my life blindly
i think i just have to continue
endure

i dun care about my life anymroe
i do not trust anyone
i do not want to get into any close relationship with anyone
i do not believe anyone anymore
how can someone being let down so many times in life and still able to continue living
i think its been countless times i am being let down
by me, and everyone around me
this life is tortorous
if only i could end it
but i know
there is still something ahead for me to discover
and i must continue with my life
everyone have their meaning in life
even the simplest soul
everyone make history
making history would mean making the future
everyone is important

no matter how tough is life
how tough is the problem
there is always a solution
and an emergency exit
there is no sure-die problems
no one must give up

never say die is my motto

i will never say die
saying this is just one of the emergency exit of life

treasure the things u have before u lose them

swallow every mishaps and experiences of being let down
and just continue
and brace yourself
as life
will get tougher as it goes by...

Only... Once...

2007-07-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

This word might seem harsh and some people might hate it. There are times when people feel that they do not want something to end. These are times when someone is having the fun of their life where bonds are made, beautiful memories are being created. Even though, they have this strong feeling of wanting this to repeat again but they know it is impossible. Everyone has to carry on their life like the flowing river. Time does not wait or just stop for you. It goes on.

There is one period of time which I want to repeat. It is my secondary school life. I want it to start over again. Those memories made, bonds build, made me much stronger than that weakling that first stepped into the school foyer for the first time. Thinking back on those memories draw a smile on my face and warmed my heart but not all are as wonderful as these. Some of them make me feel extremely guilty and even now I can feel tears trickling down my cheek while typing these. It might be affecting me as this is my experience, try to think of your own memories. They make every individual strong. It is quite an irony, as being a strong person is not to be physically strong; it is to be mentally strong. The only method to accomplish this is to create those memories. Everything only comes once, before you even know they are gone, grab them in your fist or you would regret.

Time only passes you once; do not expect a chance to even get them back. I have regretted many times. I think it is part of human life because after each time I gain experience that can only be gotten from failure. There is no one in this world we never ever regretted in his whole entire life because of the simple law of time, it only passes you once.

I feel that I have wasted a lot of my time in my life. Have you ever experience staring at the clock, looking at the time pass and hoping it would just flow by much faster? I have done that before. Looking at the time just pass is just like wasting your life because every second counts. I have been doing last minute work all the time, which is why I never get the results I ever wanted. Only hard work can get you where you want to go. Wasting time is just like wasting life and life is precious even more precious then money. Some people might be very petty with their money but they just love to waste time.

This might be the last time you want to read this book ever again but please keep this in mind. Hang on to every second in life; grab every opportunity that comes along, because it is only once.

We must ENDURE!

2007-07-03T04:05:00.000-07:00

Just this 4 MONTHS!
Come one everyone!
Just take this Deep Breath
Blow All the problems aways
as if they are as light as feather
and focus
your full concentration
on
the O LVL!

omg pretty girl! Chio-ness!

Oh sry sry

Focus!
Monamonamonamona NEH!
FOCUS!
FFFOOOOOOCCCCCCUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!

BOOM!

Opps... Too Much Chi...

HAHAHA...
if you are focusing, y are u reading a BLOG!

oh ya... and y am i writing a blog!

OMGOMGOMG!

I am Hooked... By you...

2007-07-03T04:02:00.000-07:00

There is many things that one person can get hooked on to. As technology is advancing as each day passes, there are more things that one could get addicted to. Many people are getting hooked on online games in our generation. They spent nights after nights just playing the game without even getting bored of it. I use to be addicted to computer games. Actually, when people say being addicted to something, people usually mean drugs, cigarettes, gambling and most teenagers are guilty of is computer games. Getting addicted is always related to negative thoughts, but actually it does not totally mean that it is bad. Being hooked on something might also mean being keen of it or enthusiastic about it.

I have experience being hooked by many things and recently I am hooked on someone. I think saying being hooked on this particular someone is the most proper way to say it. As I have all the symptoms when I was hooked onto my computer games. I would think about her every time I stop working and I would really want to see her. I have this terrible feeling throughout my body when I do not get to see her. The worst thing is that I only get to see her once or twice a week and we are just friends. The feeling is terrible and distracts me from my studies. I know how important they are this year but it is extremely hard to concentrate. It is not like I want it to happen.

Something would just hooked you on if you go too close to them. They hook you with the longest hook you can ever find, so that you will never ever be able to escape unless they let you go. We are just like fishes in the sea and we accidentally bite onto on of the hooks from the rod and are reeled up and it is totally impossible to escape. I bit onto on of these hooks at the entirely wrong time causing a chain reaction of problems and obstacles caused.

When you are addicted to something, your mind is filled with its image and you would want to do this thing or see this someone once you get the chance to do so. Every time you close your eyes, its image would fill your mind and making you miss it terribly. If I ever have I choice, I would never want to be hooked on anything. The only problem is, firstly when you get to do it or see this someone you would be very happy and this happiness is something that make you feel like you are the happiest person on earth no matter what happens and every problem seems to crease to exist. It is like a drug just that drugs are more practical stuff which people chose to use them because they cannot cope with life.

Actually, being hooked on to something seems to give someone something to look forward to. This is something that people lack that causes stress, something to look forward to. Without anything in life to look forward to is as if we are living everyday just to live through it. There is an addiction which has always been with me making me an optimistic person from a young age which is having fun. I would definitely die without it and I can confirm that. I would always look forward to fun times which would motivate me to continue those boring lessons I have and tough time I have. I would have to side track a little. Actually, life is not as boring as it seems. We are given life to enjoy it not to hate it. In everything that we do, there is something extremely fun about it if only you are willing to look for it. Things which are fun from the surface will never last for a long time. I use to hate writing essays but I am totally enjoying my time now because I get to write out everything that I have within me, my thoughts and feelings from the deepest part of my heart. It is not easy telling someone but writing it seems to be so much better like writing in a diary. To say, I am addicted to write such essays. I love writing out what I really feel and what are my thoughts. From the surface, my friends see me as someone who loves to play and have fun but actually sometimes I like to hide at the corner and write my heart out. An addiction would show the real image of someone their true personality because they are attracted to the things they like and it cannot be denied as the attraction is too strong for someone to control.

Addiction might seemed quite terrible but there is always a positive side to everything. Nothing can be totally dark. The darker the shadow the brighter the light but its not easy to find the good side of addiction. The most important thing is self-control. If you are able to control yourself, there is nothing you are unable to accomplish. Once you are able to control the addiction, you would be able to push yourself far beyond your limits. You must be able to focus all your energy to control the addiction. Only when it is in your full control, then you would be able to use it to its fullest potential. Now, I am trying to control my addiction and use it to give the final burst of energy to sprint all the way to the end. I was told once by my coach that when the end line is near push yourself to go much faster and reach the end do not slag down, you would be accomplish more with a faster speed then a slow end. I am now collecting all the energy to push myself to the end.

Addiction might be able to give your happiness but it is only short lived. Addiction would not help you accomplish anything just by satisfying the addiction. To achieve the true happiness in life, there is only one way but first let me tell you a story I read from a book:-

There was once an old man who asked his son to seek a famous alchemist for the secrets in life. The son crossed vast deserts just in search of this man. Finally, he came to the castle where the alchemist was living. The castle was extremely big and magnificent. He waited with many other people to meet the alchemist. He finally got to meet him after waiting for his turn. He asked the alchemist what is the secrets to happiness in life. Without saying anything the alchemist gave the man a silver spoon and poured olive oil on it. The alchemist told him to walk around the palace for two hours and not let the oil spill out from the spoon not even one drop. The man was puzzled at the moment but he did as told. He walked pass the beautiful garden, amazing chandeliers, the hundreds of nicely furnished room. He walked pass all the amazingly beautiful things around the castle during the past two hours. After the two hours, he went back to the alchemist. Indeed, he did not spill a drop of oil. The alchemist then asked him whether did he notice the magnificent garden and beautiful chandeliers and other beautiful things. The man shook his head in shame. The alchemist then asked him to walk for another two hours to enjoy the scenery with the spoon. The man had the best time of his life walking around the castle seeing all the sceneries which he would never get to see in his entire life. He got back to the alchemist two hours later with the best memories. The alchemist checked his spoon and realized that all the oil has spilled out. Next the alchemist told him. The secret to happiness in life is to be able to ensure the oil in the spoon does not spill and to enjoy the scenery.

The moral of the story is that one must be able to accomplish what he is doing and yet enjoying the task at the same time.

Addiction is the beautiful scenery while studying is our spoon of oil. If we concentrate too much on addiction we totally forget about the oil in our spoon thus causing our results to drop tremendously. We must be able to create a balance between them which would bring us the happiness we want in our young days. You would never get the best without enduring and hard work. Start putting aside all those distractions and stare o levels straight into the eye and work towards it, do not be scared!